Currently:
Until It Sleeps--MetallicaWhere do I take this pain of mine
I run but it stays right by my side
So tear me open and pour me out
There's things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me
So hold me until it sleeps
Just like the curse, just like the stray
You feed it once and now it stays
Now it stays
So tear me open but beware
There's things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me until I'm clean
It grips you so hold me
It stains you so hold me
It hates you so hold meIt holds you so hold me
Until it sleeps
So tell me why you've chosen me
Don't want your grip
Don't want your greed
Don't want it
I'll tear me open make you gone
No more can you hurt anyone
And the fear still shakes me
So hold me, until it sleeps
It grips you so hold me
It stains you so hold me
It hates you so hold me
It holds you, holds you, holds you until it sleeps
So tear me open but beware
There's things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me 'til I'm clean
I'll tear thee open make you gone
No longer will you hurt anyone
And the hate still shapes me
So hold me until it sleeps
****
This song is also the title of a great fic (L. J. Smith fanfic) I'm reading. Check it out at
http://www.angelfire.com/planet/anterrabaewrite/index.html
Silent treatments and other woes of life
Woes. This should be the word of the week.
I don't know what wrong I have done again, but it's eeriely silent in the room. I guess it's true that we are oblivious to our own flaws. I'm no exception. Oh well. It's been a few days now, I haven't done anything because I want to let things cool down first (if anything was ever fired up in the first place) before I say anything. But I'm stressed over my maths and all the test papers and notes and ten-year series and God knows what else that I'm supposed to do. Add on the I'm-ignoring-you-now, my nerves are frayed.
Yeah, I know I'm not the only one going through this and all. So yes, I'm dealing with it. And no, I'm not going to explode. I refuse to, damnit.
Ah, the woes. I went to MacDonalds to study and I got coffee. Turns out that I forgot that coffee at Macs is stronger than what I'm used to. Right now, my hands and legs are shaking. I didn't even finish the cup.
On the bright side, I've finished my electrolysis notes! And plowed through half of the topic's TYS. (Only to realise that I have more worksheets to do) I plan to finish the whole thing tonight since the coffee's going to keep me up for a while. Sadly, I can't say the same for maths. I was about ready to tear the whole question paper apart this morining. Yup, woes, woes.
These days
"Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him"
-Fall Out Boy
Oh boy, how I hate to be me. It's amazing how someone who's barely sixteen can have so many regrets. Just pathetic, really.
Mood Swings
I can't get into my brother's blog! So irritating. I've been in a bad mood for days, even my friends said something about it. Can't explain why. Either that or maybe I just don't want to think about it. Heh. I never said I was sane.
Told my Dad about my math and a-math marks Ouch. Ahem, E8 and F9. Ouch, ouch. Oh well, serves me right. I didn't revise properly.
I had Sticky Chewy Chocolate with a couple of friends (yes, I do have a life. Finally.) and the ice-cream wasn 't that nice. Waste of space, waste of money. Why am I even talking about this?
Rose of Versailles (Lady Oscar)
Y'know, I haven't thought about that anime for a long time. I watched it when I was very young--like kindergarden young. I couldn't remember what it was about untill today actually. Not the characters' name or the show's title. I saw it in passing today. Weird thing is, I can recall certain scenes, like the opening part when Oscar was sparring when Andre and that Andre was blind later in the story (I looked it up)
I usually don't go for this kind of stuff--pink background, roses and girlish manga. But Rose of Versailles brings back all those memmories of sleeping over at my cousin's place and she putting me to sleep. I really haven't thought about this in quite sometime for many different reasons. So I think I want to check this out for old time's sake. The fact that it's based on the French Revolution and real people helped. A lot.
Lazy
I'm becoming very good at this procrastination thing. I have one more paper before the mid-years end and I'm already off the exam mode. Oh well, I never liked chemistry MCQs.
I have lots of stuff planned out for my June holidays--if you can call it a holiday, that is. Let's see, need to study, exercise, somewhat a part-time job and I really should get back to the writing challenge. And I always have a 'To Read' list with me, so we'll see how it goes.
I am so lazy right now. I may just ignore the Chem paper 1 tomorrow except that I think I've already flunked my practical so...
I'm off.
Mother's Day
"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy.No man does. That's his."
-Oscar Wilde
